There's Always A Reason Why

I have a two year old. His name is Ben.

I get a daily update from his daycare. It's chock full of activities they do throughout the day, diaper changes, and my favorite of all: incident reports.

Ben and a friend were playing with the same truck...
Ben saw his friend reading a book about trucks...
Ben was arguing with a friend on the lawn next to the truck bin...
Ben did not want to share a truck with his friend...

The journalistic narratives end similarly.
All of Ben's friends get bit.

The theme of trucks is evidence enough for me to believe the accounts are true beyond a reasonable doubt. I know Ben's thoughts on trucks.

To the parents who shield their children with denim jackets: there's no telling how many incident reports have been prevented due to your sense of fashion.

For those provided with less fall layers: my sincerest apologies.

So what am I to do as the parent of the child giving these teething, morning greetings?

We have this saying at Forerunner that is helping me grow as a parent.

THERE'S ALWAYS A REASON WHY.

There truly is always a reason why Ben bites his friends.

He has an unmet need.
He bites because he is hungry for attention, affirmation, and affection.
His teeth take over when he doesn't have the words to express his anger or disappointment.

If I pause to consider his why, I can address his needs before anyone bleeds.

We would all understand each other more if we realized there's always a reason why.

There's always a reason why boys often test the limits and boundaries of acceptable behavior in relationships. What can I get away with without losing you? How far can I go and still belong and be loved? Acting out is an attempt to feel the walls of established expectations. Comfort-seeking disguised as rebellion.

There’s always a reason why mentors sign up to serve at Forerunner. Many were given a generational blessing through the mentors they've had in life. Serving for them is an opportunity to impart that blessing and legacy. Others' why stems from being dealt a hard hand themselves. To be a mentor is to become the father-figure that they never had.

There’s always a reason why relationships are hard and messy. They sharpen us, grinding away at all of our selfish tendencies. They reveal our greater purpose in this life. There is no greater investment in life than the one you can make in the people around you. Relationships help us realize our worth. It’s easier for us to believe we are someone, when we are someones.

There's always a reason why Jesus called us to love our neighbor. Because our neighbor's well-being and good is essential to our own. And there's always a reason why God loves us. God is love. He knows every why we have hidden in our own hearts. There is no need or desire He cannot meet.

Why mentor boys in Lake Highlands? We love because He first loved us. We have been blessed to be a blessing. Their potential is bound with ours.

There's always a reason why. What's yours?